Reframe {The Sanctification Gap} - 1 Kings 15

I come into prayer with something pressing on my spirit- I need to reframe my expectations of leadership and ministry. I need to meet with Him about the way I idolize perfection and buy into the scarcity mindset of grace. It’s time to meet with Jesus and confess I need His help- it’s time open some windows and come out of hiding.

I am writing this on a Tuesday. I have called a meeting to order. The invitees are as follows: my emotions, my thoughts, my behaviors, my King, His Spirit, and my God. We meet around a table in the sanctification gap of my soul, that place between who I was and who I am becoming. 

Why are we here today?

To discuss what is really bothering me on a core level.

What is on the table? Forgiveness? Offense? Wounds?

The frame around that story is worn thin. No, today we are here to discuss freedom.

Freedom from what?

Freedom to live honestly in the sanctification gap. Freedom to receive blessing in my imperfection. To learn how to do ministry in a frame of grace.

I want the freedom to make mistakes in ministry and still be blessed by God in all He has called me to do in service of Him. I want to receive His blessing on my ministry even as I fail repeatedly in the process of learning how to manage His provision well. Working with people means a lot of unknowns, a lot of variables, and a lot of potential failure. Should I stop trying to learn how to serve others because I will make mistakes and could hurt someone? No- I should keep pressing forward. Should those who mishandled my story be called to another vocation because of the mistakes they made with me? No- they should keep pressing forward. Why, then, does a piece of my heart withhold grace? By refusing to give it, I am unable to receive it, and therein lies my problem today. I cannot move forward into church ministry without first looking back and reframing my story.

Look with me now, through this window. The underlying message of the past few weeks has been windows- what a strange theme. On vacation I found myself snapping pictures of windows without knowing why. This week in a training at the Freedom Academy I was given a black and white four-paned window that was printed on a handout. We were instructed to do some self-reflection that involved writing aspects of our negative self-perceptions and painful experiences into the four empty boxes of the window. I filled them in easily- generally I have quick access to some of the deep beliefs and deep desires in my soul, so this type of exercise poses no problem for me. One pane of that window asked:

“What is something negative that someone said to you and it stuck with you?”

I quickly wrote my answer, one which came easily and with vigor, hurtful words which had been spoken to me in a church ministry setting where I walked away with soul-wounds that would propel me straight into therapy. My answer to that question on the fourth square of my window diagram was based on words said to me in a church setting, by a church leader who was just trying to do ministry in the name of Jesus. Did that person mean well? Certainly! Did those words hurt me? More than I want to admit. But at this point in my life, if I don’t reframe this part of my story, I cannot give or receive grace for what is yet to come.

Here is why: I am taking small steps to enter into church ministry for myself now. I am in seminary, I am taking a life-coaching class through the Freedom Academy, I am the ambassador for the pastoral care team at Saddleback Yorba Linda. All of this means I am working out my sanctification each and every day, I am working with people and I am practicing self-awareness and learning new tools for leadership and ministry. I don’t think of myself as a leader, but it slowly dawns on me that this is what I am trying to become, despite myself. Which brings this revelation on a Tuesday morning: I now need to receive the grace that I still need to give. I need to reframe my past and so that I can shed some light on my place in the sanctification gap.

So in my journal today I call this Tuesday meeting to my first order of business: we are gathered here because a part of me is tempted to give up quietly and without a witness. That part of myself which believes that I must be perfect has determined that the task ahead of me is impossible. My core belief today is that I cannot ask for grace to learn through making mistakes- I must get everything right immediately, without being told twice and without hurting anyone. This is a problem because when I try to counsel people in real life at church or inside the classroom I have a massive fear of failure. I am ashamed of my learning curve when I am working with people. This is a core part of my belief system which needs transforming work in the Spirit, who is with me always. I have a scarcity mindset of grace.

Secondly, I have a critical voice inside that will not allow me to fail others in the ways that those in my past have failed me. I am deathly afraid to become a hypocrite, to see any commonality in myself with those who hurt me. I have declared to myself and to God that I will be different than them- it’s a desperate polarization seeded in the fear of becoming the very thing which I hold out as other, different and wrong. “I won’t be like them” is a judgement statement that keeps my deeper insecurities at bay. In the depths of my heart I pray with pride the thanks that I am not like them- I will do ministry so differently, so much better. So I am deeply concerned about doing ministry perfectly in order to remain above the shortcomings of others. I have drawn lines and boundaries about what is acceptable and what is not, and so I am quickly becoming hyper-vigilant to avoid repeating the wrongs that were done against me.

The frame of “I am different, I was right, they were wrong” keeps this window darkly shut and lets no light in to shine upon the ways I need the same grace as those I criticize. This standard of perfection is crushing me- it makes me fearful to take another step in learning to serve the church because I am afraid I might look down to see that really I am walking in the shoes of those I ran from. How can we reframe the past to shine light on new ways of thinking?

Those around the table with me lean into my journal and each has something to say. As we go around the room I hear the input from many sides- my emotions, my thoughts, and my behaviors weigh in first. Then I turn to the Trinity for an alternative- what are my other options here?

The Spirit holds up a frame of grace-

“In Christ there is permission to be blessed in imperfection.”

In the light of the window I look down at 1 Kings 15:14 and read-

¹⁴ Although the pagan shrines were not removed, Asa’s heart remained completely faithful to the Lord throughout his life.

This leader didn’t finish the job- he left pagan shrines among God’s chosen people. But the Word says that his heart remained steadfast to the Lord. Wait a minute, so you can have an imperfect ministry and yet your heart can be right before God? You can have definite shortcomings in your execution of service and leadership and yet be blessed by your faithfulness to Jesus? Yes, they do and yes, they are. Look around you! Can I frame this fact of life with grace?

The Spirit holds the frame higher, letting in more light- “I bless ministry and church leaders for the state of their heart, not for what they produce.”

I read more support for this in 1 Kings 15:4-

⁴ But for David’s sake, the Lord his God allowed his descendants to continue ruling, shining like a lamp, and he gave Abijam a son to rule after him in Jerusalem.

I sit back and look out this new window pane as I consider what it could mean. My inner voices have a lot to say. This verse comes after a long line of mistakes where leader after leader fails to be faithful to the God of Israel. But for the sake of the greater narrative, for Jesus sake, God continued to keep this leadership in power because it still brought glory to His name, despite the obvious shortcomings of those He permitted to rule. What frame does this put around my story and the relationships in my past?

The Spirit weighs in on my thoughts- God appoints ministry leaders for reasons bigger than themselves. In this way I have also appointed you.

And in a profound way, I reconcile my past to my future by walking in the shoes of those who needed my grace then as much as I myself will now need it. Case in point- On Sundays I have started to stand in the prayer area after service to offer words of hope and encouragement to those in the community who need it. Anyone is welcome to come to me for words of hope, help, or comfort. I take this seriously. I want to honor the feelings and stories of those who come to share a piece of their journey with me.

I have had very little experience so far- several practice sessions at the Freedom Academy and opportunities to articulate my limited listening and counseling skills in the cohort portion of my seminary class. But on Sunday when I stand next to the “prayer” sign after church with my lanyard and my team t-shirt on, this is the real thing. The stories are real life, the tears are unrehearsed and I am the one to whom these people are bringing their prayers. I find myself in the messy work of partnering with people in their painful stories, and so I am perfectly poised to make the same mistakes that were once made with me. How to handle the fragile needs of a human community of Jesus people? Such a hard question, one that needs a frame of grace.

I have noticed myself walking away from these Sunday mornings with negative self-talk. There is a fear inside that perhaps I might actually make the same mistakes as those from whom “I am different”. What if I say something that could be misunderstood, perhaps even hurtful? What if someday someone looks at me the same way I looked at those in the past who mishandled my story? So I judge myself harshly for not saying everything right. I condemn myself for my imperfect performance. I have no grace for myself. When it comes to learning to do counseling, coaching and public prayer for the church community, I find I get discouraged easily. These are people with real hurts, and who am I to speak words of leadership over them? I treat myself exactly as I treat those who let me down in the past- no grace, a frame of self-righteous judgement, critical and demonstrative. There is no room to learn, I must already know- know how to be different from those who failed before me!

And here is the deep lie I hold for myself (and others) as a result- your imperfection cannot be blessed or provided for, it must first be corrected and made right. But this is not Biblical. And here I confer with my companions around the table as the sun shines in through the window on this early Tuesday morning: I expected my church leaders to handle my story without making any mistakes. I could not put a frame of grace around the way those leaders fumbled with my needs. Yet here I am fumbling to do the very same role, uncertain and rather unqualified. 

Why am I unable to frame my mistakes with grace? Because I have not extended that same grace to frame those who came before me. To allow myself to learn the hard way about how to serve people in ministry means reframing the past. Grace is an equal-opportunist, and it is a frame that compliments every window, including those we would rather keep shut because they reveal deep beliefs which need Divine alternatives.

What is this deep belief that I cannot be like the people who hurt me in ministry? This determination to be different than them? Perhaps this is a form of pride and a roadblock to the work the Spirit wants to do within me now. What if I frame their mishandling of me with grace so that I can give myself grace, too? And so my companions and I agree as we confer around the table- it is time to reframe what happened in my story so that I can see my past through a window filled with light. Only then can I put off the burden of perfection that I carry with me into every act of service in my own attempt at church ministry. I cannot move forward until I first acknowledge that this reframing needs to take place when I look behind me at what came before this moment. Yes, framing the deeds of others with a lens of grace will set me free to receive it for myself.

When you begin to live life in the sanctification gap, that place between who we were and who we are becoming, the windows to our past tend to get reframed without our realizing. So the next time we look back, the story looks a bit different- not because we are forgetting, but because we are seeing in a different light. No longer through a glass darkly, but clear as the Son. What if I allowed God to bless me in my mistakes? What if I rejoiced that He blesses those who have made mistakes with me? Church ministry is much bigger than the people who feebly try to execute it. When the state of our heart becomes more important than the limitations of our hands, then we have reframed the “I am different” mindset in such a way that looking at the stories of others becomes more like looking into a mirror at oneself. Our job now is to raise a banner of love over that frame and allow the Light to shine upon us all, for God blesses His children in the midst of their mistakes, not in spite of them. Reframe the past with grace and He will reframe the present with love.

Why are we meeting here on this Tuesday morning?

To discuss what is really bothering me on a core level.

To revisit the story of your past?

The frame around that story is worn thin. No, today we are here to discuss freedom.

Freedom from what?

Freedom to live honestly in the sanctification gap. Freedom to receive blessing in my imperfection. To learn how to do ministry within a frame of grace.

Welcome, child. You are safe here. You are welcomed. You are loved.

Amen and amen.

Rebecca

~*~

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The Gift Is In The Margin {Silence And Solitude}

Do not be afraid of an empty to-do list. It is in this empty space that His Spirit has the freedom to create. We are each a divine vessel of blessed imperfection, and this is best discovered in the margins of our day, the places where our hearts bleed out and our words fall short.

Dear Saddleback family- What if we stop and meet with Jesus right here and now, inviting Him into the worst and most hurried moment of our day with no agenda other than to simply sit beside Him?

We should know that God sees the small things that nobody else does, those menial tasks which make up the larger whole of our existence.

And so humility is cultivated in solitude, and grace is received in silence.

I say this because Jesus finds me in the most unlikely of places these days.

I will be driving down the highway alone and His Spirit will whisper “Moses felt exactly like you do right now when I gave him the commission to return to Egypt.” And I will feel better about my doubts, because I am reminded that doubt is Biblical. Doubt is not the opposite of faith, it is the unfolding of it as we grow up into Him. And I am humbled by the revelation.

I will be sorting laundry, a great pile of warm towels, when He will suddenly draw close and tell me “I am going to speed up your healing and come very close to you.” And I will feel better about my weaknesses, because I am reminded that they are covered in grace and part of a divine plan to heal both myself and the whole world.

I will be standing in the shower at the end of the day, questioning myself about where I may have gone wrong in the last twelve waking hours, and He will speak the words “No condemnation”. Plain and simple, powerful and true; relief and gratitude come all at once like a wave.

Yes, humility is cultivated in solitude, and peace comes on the ringing ears of a silent room.

It has been the quiet times with Him that have been the most fruitful places during this transition season of my life.

God has lovingly entered me into a time of solitude and silence because He has a lot to say. I have been rendered mute in His presence so that He can do the talking. For this I am grateful.

Pastor Rick has been teaching us that learning to slow down and leaving room for margin creates space for God to work in our daily life. I took some time off from social media and blogging to create space in my own routine for Him to speak to me, and I completely agree with what Rick has said to us:

“We must learn to slow our pace for a healthier life. Learn to be content because human nature is discontent.”

A healthier mind, body and spirit requires Sabbath- rest, silence, solitude, reflection, listening.

But who in this hurried world has time for that? To have free time is to be rendered useless in this performance-driven society.

But our pastor puts it plainly:

“If you are too busy for God, you are too busy.”

Saddleback family, you have encountered me during an interesting season of my life. I have been found by God and unbound from slavery to emotion. I have transitioned from an upheaval of mountainous emotion to a great plane of leveled learning.  I have been forced to slow down and listen to my body, my mind and my soul. I am both victorious and still learning to be so, day in and day out. It’s one piece of human nature at a time, observed, addressed and worked out within me. He is moving in the silences, the margins, and the empty “to-do” lists.

I resist at times because I don’t want to heal, I want to be healed!

But humility is cultivated best in silence and solitude and stillness. Contentment is learned in the quiet place. Healing is found in peaceful acceptance of the right now.

Philippians 4:11 (NLT)

¹¹ I have learned how to be content with whatever I have.

I have not mastered contentment myself, but God is carving out time to work on it within me. He is tunneling out a margin between my desires and my expectations, creating a space to write His own story which is becoming interwoven with mine, a chapter of grace that falls between the definite past and the unknown future.

In prayer this week, here is what I have heard Him say as I have reflected on the sermons and teachings from the past few Sundays on our campus:

“Daughter, rest now. I hear you. I love you. I want to meet with you. Don’t try to control, analyze, explain or grab onto anything. Simply present your needs to me and trust me with them. I am all around you. Trust my work. This type of healing is slow but steady. Trust me with the learning process that you are going through. You are not an exception to My story, you are a main character. Now rest and allow hope and joy to heal you. Surrender your fear, rest in trust, give your anxious thoughts to me. I am all around your mind, body and spirit. I am consuming you with love. But consumed by my love and be made new. Rest while I wash away your sins and make you new. I receive your fear, anxiety and pain as a pleasing sacrifice. I am proud of you. I am holding you. Rest because I love you. You are mind forever.” –Jesus

This is the victory for the past few weeks- I have learned not to make any decisions when I am not in a place of margin. If I don’t have the emotional capacity to slow down into silence and solitude so that I can dwell with God in peace, then I don’t have the right state of mind to make healthy choices. This is not something I have mastered, it is only something I have realized. It’s an area I need to work on. And so I need to take the time to receive His teaching and rest while He is working.

As Pastor Rick continues this sermon series about margin, I will practice conscious gratitude for all the places I find space to rest with Christ:

~I will not be ashamed of taking time for physical self-care: yoga, massage, visits to the chiropractor, taking a nap when I feel tired instead of charging ahead.

~I will embrace opportunities for better emotional health: life-coaching, process groups, inspirational workshops.

~I will make room for God to speak- meditation, sitting in silence, Scripture, journaling.

Pastor Rick made a statement which resonated deep within the confines of my journey:

“I can’t keep charging without recharging. Hurry dries up my love and keeps me from hearing God.”

I have led far too many charges in the past year, and I have pushed away God’s gift of rest.

It’s time to bring awareness to the fear of stillness.

And as I make flawed efforts to get closer to victory, I trust God to help me weave each lesson into my relationships and responsibilities of daily life.

Saddleback family, it is in the margins that we will experience breakthrough. This is about us and God and nothing else.

Do not be ashamed to have time to sit with Him. Some of the most influential teachers I have read are huge proponents of significant amounts of quiet time with God.

Jesus is coming into the deep places of brokenness within us in oder to do a true and lasting healing. He is so proud of us and the hard work we are doing to stop working so hard.

For every small step we take towards Him, He will take a flying leap towards us. He closes the gap when we create a margin.

The empty places in our schedule can become the battleground for the collision of our spirit with His. He is using everything, each piece of our daily lives to draw us closer to Him, especially the vacancies.

Friends, it is in the quite pieces of stillness where humility is cultivated. And humility is the nutrient-rich soil for blessing to be planted and grow up in abundance.

Let us all meet and commune with Him in silence and solitude this week, whatever amount you can give. He receives it all with abundant joy. He knows how much it means to each one of us to carve out time with Him. He knows what it costs to lay down our agendas, and He receives the sacrifice as a good and pleasing aroma.

As we sacrifice our time to Him, he carries our burdens away to make room for something new.

Yes, He honors our time as we honor His.

Do not be afraid of an empty to-do list. It is in this empty space that His Spirit has the freedom to create. We are each a divine vessel of blessed imperfection, and this is best discovered in the margins of our day, the places where our hearts bleed out and our words fall short.

As we create space for margin under the teaching of our pastors, may my entire Saddleback family know the blessed reception of time alone with God.

Though I sit alone with him, I am not lonely because I know that many in my church family sit there also.

And together we can each carry the gift of communion with the Spirit with us into the work of our day and apply it to the broken relationships in which we long to see breakthrough.

I love you, church. Let’s sit quietly together here in this sacred place of solitude with our Savior. Let us surrender our divine imperfections and savor our Savior as He refines us in silence.

Amen and amen.

Rebecca

~*~

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Blessings in Earthen Vessels- Genesis 24

A Blessing is found in a clay pot within the hands of a stranger.

But I am an introverted skeptical cynic.

Which is why I have a blog. So I can write things like-

How can the answer to prayer be found in a plain earthen vessel?

Ah, my friends, let’s not forget that the King of the world was found in a dirty wooden trough.

It’s time to de-mystify and normalize the voice of God.

It’s time to recognize and trust the simplicity of the abundant gift.

My friends, when God extends to you an answer to prayer, do you stop and stare at it and question it before trusting? Do you pause and wait to see if you might be let down? Do you evaluate your level of emotional certainty and weigh all the other options?

Yes. I do. I am an introverted skeptical cynic.

But the reality is that sometimes the answer is standing before us, hands extended, offering us a drink of water to quench our parched throats after a long journey through the hot desert.

The answer to prayer is within the simplicity right in front of you.

Perhaps we have been walking along with a great caravan of baggage that brings us comfort and security, and so we are very weary. When finally we come to the well, we can set it all down and take a break to pray.

This is when we will encounter an answer before we can even finish asking.

And all we can do is stare in wonder at the stranger who stands before us with the earthen vessel. All we can do is repeat our questions.

Is this too good to be true? How do I know if this is an answer to prayer?

We almost miss the Blessing because we are searching for something more mysterious, more profound. We don’t realize that the answer is simple, straight-forward, and available here and now.  A treasure found in a jar made of clay, held in the arms of Someone we have never met before and yet have known all our lives.

A drink for our thirsty soul.

This week I made a specific and important ask before God. It is a new year and I knew there were some things that I was ready to let go of- emotional baggage that no longer served me, change I wanted to see happen in my personal life. It was all wrapped up in one specific prayer request that ended with “God, please GIVE ME A SIGN. Amen”.

I wrote it down in a journal entry and said it out loud. And I don’t know what I really expected to happen after that, except maybe nothing.

Or a miracle.

Would I hear the audible voice of God speaking in reply? I thought if I did get something in response, it would be mysterious feedback that I would need to decode. Or perhaps there would be some strings attached in order to prove myself and earn the prize.

Funny thing is, unlike most prayer requests, this answer came within HOURS. Literally, just a few hours. And it was straight-forward, clear as day, smiling into my dusty eyes, extending a drink to me, saying “THIS IS YOUR BLESSING”.

And I doubted.

"Where is the mystery? This is too easy. What am I missing?"

I’m scared to believe, God.

I also came to Genesis 24 on my slow journey through Scripture, and there I learned that treasures are often found in earthen vessels, even here and now.

Simple answers to prayer that don’t have any strings attached, but hands of kindness extended out.

“Accept the gift,” I said to myself. “Blessing is found within the clay pot. Take it, for God’s sake, girl!”

“See the sign and trust,” He said to me. “Receive the abundance. For your sake, child!”

In order to recognize the answers to prayer that stand before us, the Blessings that are extending to us a cool drink of water for our thirsty souls, we need to do just one thing:

De-mystify and normalize the voice of God, because Abundance is actually very simple.

Answers to prayer are not relegated to churches or Sundays or pastors- in fact sometimes it is the very religious things that will hinder or distract us from hearing directly from Him.

Sometimes the long caravan of baggage we 

carry is a religion empty of Divinity. 

So let’s walk together through Genesis 24-

“Abraham was now a very old man, and the Lord had blessed him in every way. One day Abraham said to his oldest servant, the man in charge of his household, ‘Go to my homeland, to my relatives, and find a wife there for my son Isaac.” v1-2,4

Okay. We are given an assignment; a task to accomplish that involves specific instructions. Seems straight-forward enough, what could go wrong? You say to yourself “you’ve got this! Execute it with perfection!”

Mmmm, wait. Perfection? Uh-oh. Fear creeps in, because striving for excellence brings anxiety. This is a lifelong struggle for me. And when I become anxious, I start asking worried questions-

The servant asked, ‘But what if I can’t find a young woman who is willing to travel so far from home?” v5

The worry is that perhaps we are being asked to do something too hard, because naturally we plan to achieve it in our own strength.

“But what if I can’t?”

The road to Blessing now looks difficult. The journey appears to be really long with too much hard work; the path is through a hot and dry desert.

So God encourages us with His promises, and He gives us His Word.

Abraham responded, “The Lord will send His angel ahead of you, and he will see to it that you find a wife there for my son.” v6

We want to be absolutely certain there is a drink of cool water on the other side.

With some hesitation we say, “Okay, God, I will trust you on this one. I will take the journey.”

“The servant swore to follow Abraham’s instructions.” v9

But we also take a whole caravan of backup plans and fear-based thoughts, just in case God doesn’t fulfill His end of things. Best to be prepared to do this independently, right?

“Don’t worry, God, I’ve got this. Let’s go…”

Then he loaded ten of Abraham’s camels with all kinds of expensive gifts from his master, and he traveled to a distant town.” v9-10

And so we go where God instructed us, but the journey is even harder because we are carrying everything we could possibly take with us for protection and security.

Loaded down with qualifications, possessions, titles, achievements, past hurts, regrets, grievances, offenses, fears, unmet needs and other impressive things we treasure- whatever convinces us we will be worthy of and entitled to the Blessing when we arrive.

Because maybe God will send an answer, but maybe, just in case, we should have something to bargain with to make the Answer to our prayer even better.

So naturally, by the time we get to the destination, we are desperately thirsty.

We must sit down, release our burdens, rest and gather back our strength.

We look around and wonder, “where is the Blessing? I’m so thirsty, God. It’s hot here, and this baggage is a lot of work. Where are You? All I see here are strangers in this place.”

 “He made the camels kneel beside a well just outside the town. It was evening, and the women were coming out to draw water.” v11

He did not ask us to grasp every single treasure we hold dear and caravan them all across the desert.

He only asked us to show up

and arrive thirsty.

But maybe we realize too late that the heavy load we shouldered through the entire wilderness was not going to accomplish anything when we arrived, except to hinder our strength. So now we lay it all down and realize nothing we brought is of any use in this moment.

All the protection and security we planned for, it’s out of our control.

We are surrounded by strangers in a foreign land.

Empty trust is required here.

Simple prayer is needed now, nothing more.

So we simply pray.

“Oh Lord, God of my master, Abraham,” the servant prayed. “Please give me success today and show unfailing love to my master Abraham.” v12

There is no certainty here, only need- an awareness of lack.

We show up, dusty and tired, lay our burdens down, and wait for help.

“God, give me a sign. What am I doing here?

Please help. This caravan is useless.”

“See, I am standing here beside this spring, and the young women of the town are coming out to draw water. This is my request. I will ask one of them, ‘Please give me a drink from your jug.’ If she says ‘Yes, have a drink, and I will water your camels, too!’ – let her be the one you have selected as Isaacs wife. This is how I will know that you have shown unfailing love to my master.” V13-14

We doubt that help is coming, and so we make parameters because of the fear that it will be easy to miss God’s answer. We think He may not clarify what the Blessing looks like. We think His reply will be complicated, so we start establishing guidelines.

We are afraid to trust.

We start to negotiate with the Creator of the universe.

But Blessing interrupts our frightened futility.

“Before he had finished praying, he saw a young woman named Rebekah coming out with her water jug on her shoulder. She was very beautiful and of age to be married, but she was still a virgin. She went down to the spring, filled her jug, and came up again. Running over to her, the servant said, ‘Please give me a little drink of water from your jug.’” V15-17

The answer to prayer shows up in the middle of our bartering tactics, interrupting with a cool drink of water. The Blessing is here after all. And she smiles and extends the earthen vessel out towards us and asks us to trust the simple Abundance.

“‘Yes, my lord,’ she answered, ‘have a drink.’ And she quickly lowered her jug from her shoulder and gave him a drink.” v18

Now we are a bit embarrassed by all the security measures we took to ensure an answer to prayer. Perhaps we realize that our manipulation is showing. What can you say when Blessing waters all your baggage, even if that burden looks like ten camels loaded with stuff you thought could help ensure the outcome?

You say nothing, because there are no words for this kind of Grace.

And the Abundant blessing has only just begun…

 “When she had given him a drink, she said, ‘I’ll draw water for your camels, too, until they have had enough to drink. So she quickly emptied her jug into the watering trough and ran back to the well to draw water for all his camels.” V18-20

Abundance looks like a lot of trips to down to the well and back. But Blessing covers all of it without hesitation.

Every last camel in our caravan of wounds is

watered, and peace covers the multitude of 

fear.

And still, we doubt.

Still, we remain speechless.

“The servant watched her in silence, wondering whether or not the Lord had given him success in his mission.” V21

All we can do is stare at Blessing in action.  Abundance waters every dry place inside: qualifications, possessions, titles, achievements, past hurts, regrets, grievances, offenses, fears, unmet needs and other impressive things we thought were a treasure but are really the things that makes us weary and worn.

Why do we doubt the freedom of Abundance?

The voice of God needs to be demystified- it’s not a church or a pastor or a Sunday. It’s not complicated or hidden deep inside religion.

It’s a child of God holding out a drink of 

water.

Someone who will willingly bring enough refreshment to compensate for all the weight of control that you were determined to drag with you in the heat of a dry desert afternoon.

Blessing quenches all of it.

Abundance lays it all down to rest.

Peace settles on the caravan of chaos.

All is quiet and time stands still.

And as we stare into the kind eyes before us, we realize that the things we believed would serve us in this moment, most of them are totally unnecessary and only weigh us down.

We discover that Abundance is found in simplicity.

Only a few things are really necessary now.

“Then at last, when the camels had finished drinking, he took out a gold ring for her nose and two large gold bracelets for her wrists.” v22

We realize that of all the burdens that we loaded onto our ten camels, perhaps only a handful of our treasures were really necessary after all. So we take them out and offer them up and say a prayer for help.

‘Whose daughter are you?’ He asked. And please tell me, would your father have any room to put us up for the night?” v23

And we wait for the voice of Blessing to give us permission. We are totally vulnerable now, exposed, broken and waiting. There is anticipation in our soul.

We are broken.

“I am Rebekah, the daughter of Bethuel. Yes, we have plenty of straw and feed for the camels, and we have room for guests.” V24-25

The wait is over. The weight is over. Blessing is upon us, here and now.

And we didn’t have to barter or beg, search or decode or strive.

We don’t need an impressive caravan.

We only needed to show up and be seen, ask and receive.

We have permission

to receive the Abundance.

“The servant bowed low and worshiped the Lord. ‘Praise the Lord, the God of my master Abraham.’ He said. ‘The Lord has shown unfailing love and faithfulness to my master, for he has led me straight to my master’s relatives.” V26-28

Worship is the recognition that blessing is found in earthen vessels.

That a King is found in human persons.

That a Kingdom is established in broken hearts.

We lay it all down and realize that God has been waiting to bless us all along, whether we showed up with just a handful of things or a full caravan of camels

.

The Blessing was not contingent upon our ability to impress or manipulate- it was based on the fact that we made the journey to show up and be seen.

The drink was going to be offered regardless. We just need to admit we are thirsty.

God, our souls are thirsty, deep down inside.

Dig a well, draw the water, and deliver us.

And now Blessing rushes back to the Father to call down a feast of Abundance upon us.

“The young woman ran home to tell her family everything that had happened.” V28

She forgot her jug.

The servant forgot why he came.

This is the law of awe and wonder.

Religion is simply the catalyst for

spiritual connection.

Blessing has been waiting for us longer than we have been waiting for it.

And so the Abundance to come is even greater than our present need.

Our request was too small.

This is the law of lavish love.

This is Abundance in action.

 “Rebekah’s brother rushed out to the spring, where the servant was still standing beside his camels. The man named Laban said to the servant, ‘Come and stay with us, you who are blessed by the Lord! Why are you standing here outside the town when I have a room all ready for you and a place prepared for the camels?’” v30-31

There is still a place of doubt in our heart which has had a great deal of influence and experience from our past. Our skepticism says we must earn the Blessing in order to receive Abundance.

Even in the joy of answered prayer, we still struggle for control.

I am an introverted skeptical cynic.

Won’t you join me, my friend?

“Then food was served. But Abraham’s servant said, ‘I don’t want to eat until I have told you why I have come.’” V32-33

As the abundance of Blessing is presented, we step back and wonder what it’s going to cost us.

We doubt. We don’t fully trust.

And because Blessing makes room for doubt, respecting our insecurities and honoring our fears, it keeps the feast warm while waiting patiently for all our skeptical questions to be answered.

“All right,’ Laban said, ‘tell us.’ v33

And we begin to state our case.

We tell God all the reasons that we have earned this Blessing, reasons why we deserve it, as if we need to convince Him of our worthiness.

We tell God all the reasons that we didn’t earn this Blessing, reasons why don’t deserve it, as if we need to convince Him of our unworthiness.

We parade

 our caravan of treasures.

“I am Abraham’s servant. And the Lord has greatly blessed my master; he has become a wealthy man.” v34

We are afraid to receive from Him. We are afraid He will see through us and revoke the Abundance. And so we list our accolades, our achievements, our titles, our labels, our acts of service and greatness.

We are afraid to be denied.

We are afraid He will see through us and deny our desires and crush our hopes and dreams.

And so we punish ourselves, take ourselves out of the game, revoke our own privileges as children of the King.

We keep one foot out the door, waiting to be kicked, planning an exit strategy.

But eventually we come to the end of the list of reasons why. 

And then we realize that none of it is holding us back, because the feast is already laid out and it’s meant just for us.

So we humbly admit our lack, our need and dependence…

Today when I came to the spring I prayed this prayer: ‘O Lord, God of my master, Abraham, please give me success on my mission. See, I am standing here beside this spring. This is my request.’” v42-43

We are vulnerable, revealing our inability to manipulate the outcome.

Exposing our need.

And expecting to be turned away now, we give Blessing an exit because we doubt our Divine inheritance.

“So tell me, will you or won’t you show unfailing love and faithfulness to my master? Please tell me yes or no, and then I’ll know what to do next.” v49

And Blessing sees our fearful heart and smiles at our childlike honesty.

And the answer to prayer comes quietly, honestly, straightforward.

“Then Laban replied, ‘The Lord has obviously brought you here, so there is nothing we can say. Here is Rebekah, take her and go. Yes, let her be the wife of your master’s son, as the Lord has directed.’” V50-51

Dear God, you really do want to bless me, don’t You? You love me so much.

Ah, the goodness is heartbreaking.

Tears flow. Abundant tears of gratitude.

Worship will be the natural response, and then the feast can begin.

“When Abraham’s servant heard their answer, he bowed down to the ground and worshiped the Lord. Then they ate their meal, and the servant and the men with him stayed there overnight.’” V52-54

So we dine with Divinity and celebrate the victory.

But receiving a Blessing is only the beginning.

Responding to it means returning to our community and sharing it with others.

Being responsible for answered prayer means

living your whole life as if it’s true.

It means taking it home with you.

Shouldering the burden of Blessing requires action.

Because what happens at the feast must travel out with you onto the desert road and beyond.

“Early the next morning, Abraham’s servant said, ‘Send me back to my master. Don’t delay me. The Lord has made my mission successful; now send me back so I can return to my master.’” v56

We could sit and enjoy the feasting and celebration for many days to come, basking in the goodness. But to truly receive the Blessing, we cannot be passive.

We must actively respond and pay it forward- we must take the Abundance back home.

It’s time to go home.

“Well,’ they said, ‘we’ll call Rebekah and ask her what she thinks. So they called Rebekah. ‘Are you willing to go with this man?’” they asked her. And she replied, ‘Yes, I will go.’” v57-58

So we leave our heavy caravan of treasures behind. The journey home with be easier because we travel lightly, carrying only Abundance now. There is certainty in the simplicity.

Our thirst has been quenched. Our prayer has been answered.

“Yes, I will go.”

It’s time to act as if this is really true.

Which sometimes means saying goodbye to the treasures from your past which no longer serve you.

“So they said good-bye to Rebekah and sent her away with Abraham’s servant and his men. Then Rebekah and her servant girls mounted the camels and followed the man. So Abraham’s servant took Rebekah and went on his way.’” v59, 61

The return journey is still long, hot and dry- it is the same road as before.

But we no longer carry the weight of our treasured past as we walk the road back home.

Now we carry an eternal soul and a trust in the lavish abundance of our everlasting God.

And we will eagerly pass on the Blessing to others because we realize we won’t lose a thing.

The caravan we travel with is eternal and immeasurable, contained in human vessels.

“One evening as Isaac was walking and meditating in the fields, he looked up and saw the camels coming. When Rebekah looked up and saw Isaac, she quickly dismounted from her camel. ‘Who is that man walking through the fields to meet us?’ she asked the servant.” v63-65

We present our gratitude to God with tears of joy, hands raised, fearless and free. This is the moment we could never earn, not even with a thousand camels of weighted regrets.

This is when Abundance meets community.

“And the servant replied, ‘It is my master.’ So Rebekah covered her face with her veil. Then the servant told Isaac everything he had done.” v65

And the Abundance of our answered prayer will echo for generations to come, because we learned to release our burdens, trust the Blessing and share it with others.

There, in community, Abundance can multiply.

 “And Isaac brought Rebekah into his mother Sarah’s tent, and she became his wife. He loved her deeply, and she was a special comfort to him after the death of his mother.” v67

My friends, we took the long hard journey through the dry and dusty desert, to show up and let ourselves be seen, lay down our burdens and ask humbly for help.

And now we see that blessing is found within the clay pot which is extended out in the hands of a stranger.

Now all creation celebrates with our victory, and the story will go on forever.

Because we trusted the simple Answer which is found in a dirty wooden trough, available to every human person that has ever lived and loved and known what it means to be thirsty.

We showed up and allowed ourselves to be seen and stand in the uncertainty of not knowing.

We were willing to travel the long road back 

home, to share what we had learned with 

others.

Blessings are answers to prayer, simple and beautiful, a Stranger we have always known.

“God has yet to bless anyone except where they actually are.” 
― Dallas Willard

On my own journey through the desert, I had quite a caravan of camels with me.

And one day in particular I will never forget: I was using my iPhone gps for directions to someplace new.

I was looking for a well, because I was thirsty.

“Take the exit,” my iPhone gps stated very matter-of-factly.

This instruction made me cry.

I burst into tears when my iPhone told me to “take the exit”. I cried as I took the freeway off-ramp. A well of tears came up.

Because I realized I was not going to carry this caravan of useless treasures with me for very much longer. I was about to take an EXIT.

I was time to travel in a new direction.

The Blessing was going to be found at a well in a foreign land among strangers.

And Abundance was in the releasing of 

treasure.

The journey would lead me through a dry desert to a well, where only humility and honesty would quench my thirst.

I would need to have a great deal of courage to trust the answer and receive the Blessing.

Remember, dear reader, that Blessing is found inside a clay pot within the hands of a stranger.

An Abundance which will fill all the dry places and follow us home.

This week I was blessed with an answer to prayer that simple and yet profound. A Blessing which looked like a dry desert road that required courage, humility, bravery and honesty.

But I am an introverted skeptical cynic.

Which is why I have a blog. So I can ask things like-

How can the answer to prayer be found in a plain earthen vessel?

Ah, my friends, let’s not forget that the King of the world was found in a dirty wooden trough.

It’s time to de-mystify and normalize the voice of God.

It’s time to recognize and trust the simplicity

 of the abundant gift.

My friends, when God extends to you an answer to prayer, do you stop and stare at it and question it before trusting? Do you pause and wait to see if you might be let down? Do you evaluate your level of emotional certainty and weigh all the other options?

Yes. I do. I am an introverted skeptical cynic. Are you?

But the reality is that sometimes the answer is standing before us, hands extended, offering us a drink of water to quench our parched throats after a long journey through the hot desert.

The answer to prayer is within the simplicity right in front of you.

Perhaps we have been walking along with a great caravan of baggage that brings us comfort and security, and so we are weary. When finally we come to the well, we can set it all down and take a break to pray.

This is when we will encounter an answer before we can even finish asking.

And all we can do is stare in wonder at the stranger who stands before us with the earthen vessel. All we can do is repeat our questions.

Is this too good to be true? How do I know if this is an answer to prayer?

We almost miss the Blessing because we are searching for something more mysterious, more complicated.

We don’t realize that the answer is simple, straight-forward, and available here and now.  A treasure found in a jar made of clay, held in the arms of Someone we have never met before and yet have known all our lives.

A drink for our thirsty soul.

Don’t miss the Blessings this week, my friends. When you pray for guidance, remember that Abundance is simply waiting beside the well to give you a drink.

Bring only what is absolutely necessary- humility and honesty contained in our earthen bodies.

Don’t drag all your junk through the dry desert- it won’t help you anyway. Trust me, I know.

Just show up, ask for help and allow yourself to be seen.

And Abundance will lay a feast in your honor and then follow you back home. And when we get to our destination, we will pass the Blessing along to others, and the story will go on for all eternity.

Receive the earthen vessel. Drink deeply. Release your burdens.

And bring the Abundance home.

~*~

With deepest gratitude for all my readers-

Rebecca

To read Pearls and Presence, click here.

To read my story, click here.